There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
