and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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