this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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