I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
