We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
