They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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