she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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