My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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