I should be sponsored by Trojan
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
