Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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