There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
