Will you blow on my dice?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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