I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
