Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
