I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
