i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
