Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
