If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
