Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
3 2 1 whiskey
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
