Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
