I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I puked a lego.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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