so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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