I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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