already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
