I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
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