remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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