Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
