why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
