you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
