Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
