I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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