So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize