he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
