So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
