I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize