Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize