He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
