I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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