So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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