I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
