In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
dude. I can hear the air.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
