Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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