Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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