One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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