the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I will pee on everything he values.
We left the knife in your bed.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
