Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
