So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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