She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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