I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
