I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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