Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
