Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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