Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
