My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
