i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Someone signed my nipple.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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