I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
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You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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