But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
