turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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