She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
