You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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