Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Drunk is not a location!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
