So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
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you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
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God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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