I hate your face
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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