So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
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I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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