i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
